Leathmac: Jokes

Leathmac: Jokes

The Medicine Cabinet

The Medicine Cabinet

I am considering a little modification to the kitchen (if and when we redo it), which might be of interest to you. A little expensive as far as medicine cabinets go, but for those amoung us who are amateur medics, it could be a great way to start a private clinic and improve our social lives at the same time! Just a thought.   

Check out the diagnostic chart c/w medication attached. No need for further studying either, just a hefty budget to stock up.  
 I' d really like, or should I say, NEED one of these!

 

Disease	Wine	Daily dose
Allergies	Médoc	1 glass
Anemia	Graves	4 glasses
Bronchitis	Bourgogne or Bordeaux > ( + sugar and cinnamon )	3 cups
Constipation	Anjou blanc electricity . Vouvray	4 glasses
Coronary arteries	Dry Champagne	4 glasses
Diarrhoea	Beaujolais Nouveau	4 glasses
Fever	Champagne sec	1 bottle
Heart	Burgundy , Santenay Rouge	2 glasses
Uric acid gout	Sancerre , Pouilly Fume	4 glasses
Hypertension	Alsace , Sancerre	4 glasses
Menopause	Saint Emilion	4 glasses
Depression	Médoc	4 glasses
Obesity	Burgundy	4 glasses
Obesity	Rosé de Provence	1 bottle
Rheumatism	Champagne	4 glasses
Excessive weight loss	Côte de Beaune	4 glasses

 

Dear Santa

"Dear Santa,

this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer,
Amen."

Speeding Ticket

Speeding Ticket

A police officer pulls over a speeding car

The officer says, 'I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gosh, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'F..k it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic 75 pound fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T You shut the f..k up?

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

I love this part.... :

'Only when he's pissed.'

The Mayonnaise Jar

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem , almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
Them into the jar.. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls..

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
Filling the empty space between the sand.. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family,
Children, health, Friends, and Favourite passions -
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Please share this with other "Golf Balls"
I just did.......

Interesting Web Sites

Some Videos

Dreamweaver Help http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=suMK2pcyqoc

Military Music 001 - Mainly Bugles and Drums

Buglars Nocturn - By Ian Mcpherson




The Royal Navy Plays Jack Tar - This is excellent quality and music




Japanese Defence Force Buglers





Japanes Army Bugle Medly




Bugles

Military Matters 001

H M S Ganges



U S Navy Silent Drill Team

Post Horn Gallop





The Royal Airforce

A Video for Nerollie

The Juggler

The Juggler.

This is a must see. The juggler keeps in time with the music. I have never seen an act like this before. It is absolutely amazing. 

Jokes

 Ladies Toilet

When you have to visit a public toilet, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the cubicle doors.
 
Every cubicle is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the cubicle. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!

The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mum, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your bag on the door hook, if there was one, so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mum would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!) down with your pants and assume ' The Stance.

In this position, your aging, toneless, thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but having not taken time to wipe the seat or to lay toilet paper on it, you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser.
In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Dear, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.  

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your bag (the bag around your neck, that now you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do, so you crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.  

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work.  

The door hits your bag, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest and you and your bag topple backward against the tank of the toilet.  

'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, while losing your footing altogether and sliding down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.
You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.  

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl and spraying a fine mist of water that covers your bum and runs down your legs and into your shoes.  

The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force and you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.  

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a sweet wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.  

You can't figure out how to operate the taps with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting
You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it?)  

You yank the paper from your shoe, plonk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left the men's toilet. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long and why is your bag hanging around your neck?  

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with any public toilets It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers that other commonly asked question about why women go to the toilets in pairs. It's so the other girl can hold the door, hang onto your bag and hand you Kleenex under the door.  

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately.  

Friends

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

 
 Irish Coffee

  An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice
in reviving her husband's libido.

 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor..

 'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.'

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's
when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it.
Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.'

It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly
inquired as to her progress... The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus
and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'

 'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.

'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the
effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his
eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he
sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me
then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you,
an absolute nightmare!'

'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex your husband
provided wasn't good?'

 'Feckin jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years!  But sure as
I' m sittin here, I'll never be able to show me face in Macdonalds again!


What starts with F and ends  with K?


A first-grade teacher, Ms  Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher  asked, 'Harry, what's your  problem?'


Harry answered,  'I'm  too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and  I'm smarter than she is! I think I  should be in the 3rd grade too!'


Ms.  Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's  office.


While Harry  waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal  what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give  the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to  go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was  brought in and the conditions were explained to him and  he agreed to take  the test.


Principal:
'What is 3 x  3?'

Harry:
'9.'


Principal:
'What is 6 x  6?'


Harry:
'36.'

And  so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader  should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her,  'I  think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'


Ms. Brooks says  to the principal, 'Let me ask him some  questions..'

The principal and Harry both  agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks,  'What does a cow have four  of that I have only two of?'


Harry,  after a moment: 'Legs.'


Ms. Brooks:  'What is in your pants that  you have but I do not have?'


The  principal wondered why would she ask such a  question!


Harry replied:  'Pockets.'


Ms. Brooks:  'What does a dog do that a  man steps into?'


Harry:
'Pants.'


The principal  sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What  goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and  sticky?'

The principal's eyes opened really  wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing  up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does  on three legs?'


Harry: 'Shake hands  .'

The principal was  trembling.


Ms. Brooks:  'What word starts with an  'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry:
'Firetruck.'

The principal  breathed a sigh of relief and told the
teacher, 'Put Harry  in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions  wrong. 


Family Tradition


Wiremu, had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been
able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd
each walked across the lake to the tavern on the far side for their first legal
drink.

So when Wiremu's, 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Rangi, took a
boat out to the middle of the lake, Wiremu, stepped out of the boat ...and
nearly drowned! Rangi, just barely managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Wiremu, went to see his grandmother.

'Grandma,' he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross
the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into Wiremu's, troubled brown eyes and said,
"Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in July when the lake is frozen, you fuck-wit and you were born in December,.............."

Cartwheels


Little Emily went home from school and told her mum that the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them.
Mum said, "You should say "No" -they only want to look at your knickers.."
Emily said, "I know they do. That's why I hide them in my bag"!

History Lesson

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American
History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Johnny, a
bright Navajo Indian boy, who had his hand up: "Patrick
Henry, 1775," he said.

"Very good! Who said, "Government of the People, by the
People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'"

Again, no response except from Little Johnny. "Abraham
Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be
ashamed. Little Johnny knows more about history than you
do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Indians."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Little Johnny put his hand up. "General Custer, 1862."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glared around and asked, "All right!!! Now who
said that!?"

Again, Little Johnny said, "George Bush to the Japanese
Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Little Johnny jumps out of his chair waving his hand and
shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky,
1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit.
If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Little Johnny frantically yells at the top of his voice,
"Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against
him, 2004."

The teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor,
someone said, "Oh shit, we're screwed!"

Little Johnny said quietly, "The American people, November
4, 2008"

Burglar

    A burglar broke into a house one night.

    He shined his flashlight
    around,

    looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
    'Jesus knows you're here.'

    He nearly jumped out of his skin,

    clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

    When he heard nothing more,
    after a bit, he shook his head and
    continued.

    Just as he pulled the stereo out so
    he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he
    heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

    Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically,

    looking for the source of the voice.

    Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight

    beam came to rest on a parrot.

    'Did you say that?' he hissed
    at the parrot.

    'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked,

    'I'm just trying to warn you that he is
    watching you.'

    The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me,
    huh? Who in the world are you ?'

    'Moses,' replied the bird.

    'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
    'What kind of people would name a bird
    Moses?'

    'The kind of people that would name a
    Rottweiler Jesus.'




The Nail


Maggie, a blonde city girl, marries a New Zealand dairy farmer.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, farmer
John says to  Maggie, "The insemination man is coming over
to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the
4 x 2 just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him
where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"
So then the farmer leaves for the fields.

After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and
knocks on the  front door.
Maggie takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row
of cows and when  she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is
the one....right here."

Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be
another ditzy blonde, the man asks, "Tell me lady, how did
you know this is the cow to be bred?"

That's simple. By the nail over its stall", Maggie explains
very  confidently.

Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"

She turns and walks away, and with complete confidence, says,
"I guess it's to hang your trousers on."

Money - how does this work


It's a slow day in a little east Norfolk town. The sun is beating down,
and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and
everybody lives on credit. On this particular day a rich tourist from
down south is driving through town. He stops at the motel and lays a £50
note on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order
to pick one to spend the night.
As soon as the man walks upstairs, the owner grabs the note and runs
next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the £50 and runs down the street to repay his debt to
the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the £50 and heads off to pay his bill at the
supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmer's Co-op takes the £50 and runs to pay his debt to
the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to
offer her "services" on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel
owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the £50 back on the counter so the rich
traveller will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the £50
note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and
leaves town. No one produced anything. No one earned anything.
However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future
with a lot more optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the New Zealand Government is
conducting business today.


Saint Peter


Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honour of this holy season' Saint Peter said,  'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and  finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


The man replied, 'These are Carols.' 


FIRE IN BLOCK OF FLATS

In South Sydney, a fire destroyed a block of flats.

A Polynesian family of six con artists lived on the first floor, and all six died in the fire.

An Islamic group of seven Pakistani welfare cheats, all illegally in the country, lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in the fire.

Six Maori, ex-cons lived on the 3rd floor and they too, died.

Four Aboriginal families in the 2 flats on the 4th floor also perished.

One white couple lived on the top floor. The couple survived the fire.

Relatives of the deceased and local do-gooders were furious.
They flew into Sydney and quickly demanded a meeting with the fire chief.
On camera, they loudly demanded to know why the Islanders, Muslims, Maoris and
Aboriginals all died in the fire and only the white couple lived.

The fire chief quietly replied,
 
 

"Simple - they were both at work."


Church Bloopers


They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
--------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation...
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
-------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"

Cristchurch Earthquake Site Links

These are the links to Christchurch earthquake sites.


Christchurch Quake Map


http://www.christchurchquakemap.co.nz/


Christchurch Quake Live


http://quake2.crowe.co.nz/quakemap/single/?index=0

Manchester Court Video Cams (Two One at front and one at Back)

They update every 5 seconds


http://ipcam.iopen.co.nz/

Click on a link and your will soon be there.

New Brighton Pier 27th November 2010

Kite Flying Day Kite Flying Day. A string of kites.

A&pshow2010

More Family Pics

Ruth and Laurie above

Andrew and Wenlin (above)

Ruth and Laurie Again (Above)

Pic of Family

Scott with Smokey, Laurie, Ruth Andrew

Nelson Holiday House

Unit two Nelson

Nelson holiday home.

Untitled

Untitled

Laptop

clipped from vaio-online.sony.com

Tennis Star

clipped from www.youtube.com

cat

cat

Andrew on our right

Scott

Replace Grub Boot Sector

Reinstall Ubuntu Grub Bootloader After Windows Wipes it Out If you run a dual-boot system with Linux and Windows, this has happened to you. You had to do your monthly reinstall of Windows, and now you don’t see the linux bootloader anymore, so you can’t boot into Ubuntu or whatever flavor of linux you prefer. Here’s the quick and easy way to re-enable Grub. 1) Boot off the LiveCD 2) Open a Terminal and type in the following commands, noting that the first command will put you into the grub “prompt”, and the next 3 commands will be executed there. Also note that hd0,0 implies the first hard drive and the first partition on that drive, which is where you probably installed grub to during installation. If not, then adjust accordingly. sudo grub > root (hd0,0) > setup (hd0) > exit Reboot (removing the livecd), and your boot menu should be back. Only read below if Windows is now missing from the boot menu If you installed Ubuntu before you installed Windows, then Ubuntu will not have anything in the grub configuration for Windows. This is where you’ll have to do a bit of manual editing to the grub boot menu file. If you open the file /boot/grub/menu.lst with the following command: sudo gedit /boot/grub/menu.lst You’ll see a sample section for Windows, which you’ll want to uncomment and add to the boot menu list in whatever position you want it in. (uncomment by removing the #’s) # title Windows 95/98/NT/2000 # root (hd0,0) # makeactive # chainloader +1 Note that you should also verify that hd0,0 is the correct location for Windows. If you had installed Windows on the 4th partition on the drive, then you should change it to (hd0,3)

Computer Hand Writing

This looks very interesting. Try it.

A kind Husband

What do you think of this guy This of course, for those that get upset easily, a funny story and should not be taken seriously, "It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try to show some understanding. My name is Wayne , and let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife,Beverly. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Bev to get a full time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her.. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the country club, so eating out again at night is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooking when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating, but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that the dishes won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. Another symptom of aging is complaining. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think that this is one of my strong points. When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, aslong as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too --- or just bring me a cold beer in a frosted mug. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Bev, and I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older, but, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this letter, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other. Signed, Wayne"

Ruth at Cashmere Club 17 04 2010

Old Vicarage Restaurant

Last evening, Wednesday 7th April 2010, we went to the Old Vicarage Restaurant at Halswell - opposite the Halswell Tavern. Ruth had been to her meeting and got home late. We decided to have dinner out and we have wanted to go there for a long time. Ruth had a salmon Fillet and I had the large beef fillet steak. It was a nice meal and we did not hajavascript:void(0)ve to pay as much as you might think, as we used the Gold Card from the Entertainmet Guide and the deal is bug one meal and get one free. We had a glass of wine each (Ruth had two) and the total bill was only $62.00.

Sheba Again

Here she is again

Our Cat Sheba

My favourite cat

Christmas Dinner 2009

We are enjoying our meal

Cat with a Problem

This cat is so much like my favourit cat "Smokey" who died about 4 years ago, that if I did not know otherwise, I would have sworn it was her.

Zoo Kittens

Caravan at Mt Somers 8th February 2010

Samsung Phone Panorama

Samsung Phone Panorama